While everyone's summer is winding down mine is just beginning to get busy. There are so many things to be happy about and the many blessings that have come my way in life. From quitting my job for some much needed rediscovery to the weddings of friends, new opportunities to meet people and the permanent tan line on my ring finger.
In the midst of all this fun that will take me well into October, it's hard not to get frustrated with the negativity that shows up on a daily basis. Why is it still here? I think it's from reminiscing on all these newly made memories and questioning what impact I had on them. It makes me wonder, at what point or age, do we stop worrying about who we are and start actually living as those people? Or maybe it's just that we are constantly creating ourselves, but during creation we always question, because that's a part of the process, so instead of thinking of it as a journey or exploration, it comes in the form of self-doubt.
Instead of being thankful for that joy and occasion, we feel frumpy, but why? I think it's because we can't just take an experience, file it away and call it life. We have to break it down, analyze it and see what it means towards our life. Eventually spending too much time on this process lends itself to a lot of criticism from the only person's view you have....yours.
So what do we do? Especially if you're like me and have a lot of time on your hands to give in to this processing. Well, I've been reading this book that has amazed me and reset my perspective. It's also helped to see this heavy thing I carry around, called my guard. The book is called Daring Greatly by Dr. Brene Brown. I'm only half way through it but it talks about letting our guards down, letting go of our nervousness that we're getting judged and just be vulnerable. In other words, have the courage be ourselves. That is the only way we'll make a connection to others and we crave that connection, if we felt it hasn't been made (or made correctly) we worry. We go back to those places of negativity and doubt. We try too hard with what we think we're supposed to be doing, saying, and feeling that we completely ignore how we do, say and feel. What makes a person worry more than not knowing who they are? Or always feel they are on the path to finding out instead of actually being.
The title of Dr. Brene Brown's book comes from President Theodore Roosevelt's speech "Citizen in a Republic". I'd like to share the passage Dr. Brown quotes in her book
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...."
To dare greatly is to be in life, doing the deeds, facing the challenges and being ourselves even if others call ourselves failure. What is a more worthy cause then ourselves? At least if we are judged as failing we are still daring greatly. And I'd rather dare greatly in this process of life, even while being vulnerable, then sit back and be the critic. Today, as cliche as it might sound, I am going to dare greatly and be myself as life comes at me because in the words of a very knowledgeable doctor, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." (Seuss)
